


Save Me From Myself

by demonsnight



Category: All Time Low, Bring Me The Horizon, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Of Mice & Men (Band), Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: Anorexia, Bullying, Child Abuse, Cutting, Eating Disorders, Homophobia, Insomnia, M/M, Rape, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation, TBA - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-29 05:33:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3884284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonsnight/pseuds/demonsnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Austin has been friends with Alan since first grade. They were inseparable. But everything changed when his mom died when he was in seventh grade. Austin became more reclusive, stuck to himself, and quiet. He rarely talked or ate and had an addiction that could very well destroy him, but Alan stuck with him the whole time. Austin was slowly gaining a crush on his best friend, but was scared because his dad was extremely homophobic. Sadly, Alan had moved away in eighth grade due to his dad’s promotion and relocation of work. Now, three years later, Alan is back in California and here to stay, but he had missed a lot. Austin’s pile of secrets has been growing, his sanity slipping, and his crush on his best friend stronger than ever. As Alan begins to dig up all that Austin has kept hidden, what will happen to the two, especially as Alan’s feeling for Austin begin to grow?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We Meet Again

Austin’s POV

 

The first thing Austin did when he woke up was groan in pain. His whole body ached and pleaded for him to remain sleeping as he got up and readied himself for school. He was thankful that his father was passed out drunk on the couch, and left without taking breakfast or lunch money.

 

The world was occupying themselves -talking on the phone or with friends- completely unaware of Austin ever passing them. Austin kept his head down low, not daring to make eye contact with people who could potentially hurt him. He pushed himself through the crowds, not bothering mutter an apology-nobody would listen anyway. When he finally arrived at school, his stomach growled. Austin ignored it in favor of wanting to get to class. Just as he did in the streets, he kept his head down low, eyes not lifting their gaze from the ground. Due to this, he accidently ran into someone.

 

“Watch where you’re going, Fag.” the jock spat. Austin refused to lift his eyes from the dirt cover floor. He didn’t want to make things worse.

 

“No reply?” the jock sneered at him. “Mommy’s not here to save you.” he laughed.

 

The routine was usual and Austin was used to people constantly picking at him, be it physically or verbally, he put up with it. He was ready to just continue to ignore him, but when the other made that last comment, it took everything in him to control himself. Austin shook, fists clenching and unclenching in an effort to restrain himself. He fought the urge to scream and retaliate and curl in a ball sobbing. 

 

The bully took one look at Austin’s face and paled, taking a step back. Austin looked ready to lose it at any moment and he really didn’t want his face to become the target of his rage. He may act big, but even he knew his limits, especially when it’s a 6’6 man compared to a 5’8 man. He took off down the hall, putting as much distance between the two as possible.

 

As Austin tried to reel in his emotions, tears began to leak through his eyes. Quick to wipe them away, the giant opened his eyes, expecting to see his tormentor, only, he was alone in a sea of students. Wiping away his tears again, he returned his gaze to the floor, not wishing to provoke another with his awful presence. 

 

When he reached his first class, art, he let his eyes wander the room. There were only a few students who chose to arrive at class earlier than necessary. Austin smiled at the peaceful atmosphere; this was his safe haven. Walking over, Austin grabbed his guitar and a seat, where he began to do the one thing he rarely does anymore: speak (or in this case, sing).

 

Lightly strumming on the chords, he begins,

 

“I hope, I hope you smile,

When you look down on me.

I hope you smile

 

This can’t, we know

I hope that I make you proud.

 

This is not what it is only baby scars

I need your love like a boy needs his mother’s side

This is not what it is only baby scars

I need your love like a boy needs his mothers side

 

Yeah”

 

Austin finished, a rare smile gracing his lips. He could feel the tears beginning to well up in his eyes again, but he blinked them away. The loss of his mother still weighed heavily on his mind and just the thought of her brought on a flood of tears. Sighing heavily, Austin rested his head on the back of his chair, shutting his eyes. He listened to distant conversations of students talking about their favorite musicians. It felt nice being able to have some space, so at the start of every class, he purposely seats himself away from the other students. All too soon, the bell was ringing and a flood of students piled into the class.

 

The teacher entered the class, taking her place at her mini-stage , her presence immediately quieting the class. 

 

“Good morning, class. Some time today we will be having a pleasant surprise. Now then, please so try to focus in class till then.” 

 

Class was passing quickly and the knowledge of a surprise was enough to have any student twitching in excitement. Austin couldn’t deny he felt the same at that moment, but there was also that side of him that just hated surprises. He had very many experiences with surprises, and most of them weren’t good. Austin shuddered, recalling bad memories of his childhood.

 

A loud knock at the door resounded through the whole class and everyone settled down instantly, curious to see what awaited them. All eyes were at the door. This had to have been their “surprise”. The door opened and in walked the principal and a boy about 5’10, 5’11. Austin tried not to stare at the new boy who wore a black beanie over his unruly mop of red hair. As Austin discreetly got a closer look, he immediately cover his eyes with his bangs, once again staring at the ground before him. It was his friend, no, his best friend, who he knew since first grade, who moved away three years ago due to his dad’s promotion in another state. They used to be really close, and when times were dark for Austin, he was always there by his side, similar to a crutch for his life. He held Austin up when he broke down. But now he’s back, and Austin had not a clue on how to deal with this situation. 

 

In a way he felt betrayed, but he understood that none of what happened was Alan’s fault. He couldn’t control any of what happened. Either way, he really didn’t want Alan to see what has become of him. How weak he’s become. 

 

“Well, Mr. Ashby, why don’t you introduce yourself to the class?” the teacher said kindly. Alan nodded and stepped up onto the mini-stage.

 

“Hey, my name is Alan Anthony Ashby. I’m a junior and I love music and cats.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Ashby. We will be skipping the asking of questions because I think we all know the questions that will come your way.” she teased the class. Glancing around for an appropriate seat for Alan, her eyes landed on Austin. “If you would, grab a seat and sit by Austin. Austin, would you be a dear and raise your hand?” she asked sweetly.

 

Austin’s head shot up at the sound of his name being called. He pleaded to the teacher through his eyes, but she only grinned back. She probably thought this would be good for him, but Austin thought otherwise. He sighed before pulling on his jacket hood and raising his hand pathetically.

 

Alan grabbed a chair and walked over to where the hand lay raised. Setting his chair down, he grinned at the other, who was seemingly hiding himself, and offered his hand.

 

“Hey, as you could gather, I’m Alan. Nice to meet you!” Austin looked at the hand offered, his cheeks tinted pink. It seems he still hasn’t gotten over his crush from four years ago, no, if anything, it only grew. Austin raised his eyes to meet Alan’s and gave a small wave.

 

“Hey.” he whispered back. He didn’t know if he should dance with joy or cry in sorrow because his friend didn’t recognize him. Whispers and murmurs broke out between the students. How was it that a new kid had gotten the Austin Carlile to talk to him? The others in the music class have been trying only to get to nowhere, and then this person comes out of nowhere and he speaks!

 

Alan grinned to himself. He had apparently accomplished a great feat in getting this kid to talk to him. He was curious and wanted to find out why he didn’t talk often. He wanted to be his friend. Alan sigh quietly to himself. There was something about this guy that just reminded him of his childhood friend whose name was coincidentally also Austin. They were both sort of moody and Alan was sure that if he got him to stand up, he would be just as freakishly tall as his Austin.

 

“Hope to be friends in the future!” Alan shot him a blinding smile before sitting down. He could have sworn he heard Austin say,

 

“We already were, Ginger Princess.”

 

Alan’s eyes widened comically before shaking it off and waving it off as his imagination.

 

Austin felt as if his heart had broken into pieces. His friend hadn’t remembered him at all, and to be honest, that was one of the things that hurt him the most. It didn’t matter that he was trying to hide himself from Alan, there was enough of Austin that had remained the same it would be easy to recognize him. The thought were swirling around in his head, confusing him. He wanted one thing and another at the same time. He knew he couldn’t have it both ways, he could only dream.

 

The bell rang and Austin was all ready to bolt out the door when the teacher called out,

 

“Austin, Alan, I would like the both of you to stay behind please.” The two waited for the class to empty before heading up to the teacher. “Austin, you and Alan have all the same classes but third and sixth period. Will you show him around for the first week of school? Here’s a pass, excusing you of all tardiness- within a reasonable amount of time of course.” Austin nodded and silently left the room, Alan in tow.

 

Austin led Alan to their second period class, pausing only when Alan asked him where the bathroom was. Austin switched their direction around and they were now heading towards the restrooms. He waited outside the bathroom for Alan as Alan went and did his business. He fidgeted and played with the sleeves of his jacket, waiting for Alan to return, his anxiety messing with his mind.

 

Alan’s POV

 

Alan did his business quickly before washing his hands in the sink. Drying his hands on his jeans, he looked himself in the mirror. He hasn’t changed much since he’s last seen Austin, except for maybe his height. Alan was almost one hundred percent positive that the Austin he met today was his Austin. The only problem was that he had changed so much, Alan had a hard time seeing him as his best friend. It wasn’t the fact that he had changed that had bothered Alan, no, it was the fact that he had become more recluse. He didn’t talk to anyone anymore, and he didn’t seem to have any friends. Change can be good, but it can also be bad, and unfortunately for Alan, Austin’s change was considered a bad one. He sighed to himself. Deciding to delve deeper, he decided to wait before coming out to the boy waiting outside for him. He didn’t like the fact that Austin sat all alone and barely talked to anyone, always having an expression of pain etched into his face, and his eyes holding a constant sadness within them. Alan sighed once more to himself before plastering a smile on his face and headed out to meet back up with Austin.

 

“Hey! Sorry to keep you waiting!” Austin only blink owlishly and nodded his head before heading back in the direction of the classroom. Alan felt kind of rejected at the treatment towards him, but he tried not to let it affect him. 

 

When they finally reached their second period class, Austin immediately picked the seat farthest back near the window. He quickly sat down and his head in his arms, hood on. Alan looked on with a sad expression. It upset him that his friend had changed so much, and not for the better. Collecting his thoughts, Alan sat down in the seat beside Austin. After a few minutes, the teacher entered the class.

 

“Settle down, class!” the teacher demanded. “We have a new student today. I would like you all to welcome Alan Ashby. Mr. Ashby, if you would, please come up and introduce yourself to the class.” Huffing, Alan slid out of his chair and slowly walked to the front of the class. Letting his eyes wander, his eyes had landed on Austin’s form. His head was still being embraced by his arms and his hunched back was moving up and down, as if he was crying. All Alan wanted to do was go and comfort the boy, wrap his arms around him and wipe his tears away from his beautiful eyes, but he didn’t want to cause a scene and embarrass them both. Alan mentally huffed, and began,

 

“Hi, I’m Alan Ashby. Hur-fucking-ray.” Alan deadpanned. Giggles had escaped the lips of some of the girls in the classroom. He looked over Austin again and saw that his shoulders were now doing a bouncing motion, like he was laughing. A smile graced his lips. He was glad to see Austin laughing, and even happier that he was the one to draw the laugh out of him.

 

The teacher glared at Alan. “Mr. Ashby, we do not speak in such a manner here, nor do we tolerate it. Do refrain from speaking in such a way. And you, class,” she glared at them. “don’t encourage him by laughing.”

 

Alan held his hands up in mock surrender. “Okay, okay! I promise not to say it again.” He tried to keep his face straight and serious, but as hard as he tried, his façade cracked and he broke into bouts of giggles.

 

“Return to your seat.” Alan followed her instructions and sat back in his seat. Anyway, good morning, class. I’m sure you’re all excited for another eventful day of math!” She grinned evilly, a chorus of groans followed.

 

Throughout the whole lesson, Austin kept his head down in his arms. The teacher never called on him, and Alan had to wonder if he was passing the class. Alan himself, was having trouble keeping up and it was only his first day. Alan feared what was in store for him throughout the year.

 

Once again, when the bell rang, Austin immediately shot up, waiting only long enough for Alan to gather his things before practically racing out of the classroom. Alan struggle to keep up with him. He found himself occasionally pushing kids out of the way just so that he didn’t lose sight of Austin. 

 

The rest of Alan’s day consisted of pretty much the same thing. He was a bit down that he couldn’t get Austin to open up to him, but he swore to himself that he would keep trying until he did. Alan walked the trek home in silence. He was glad that the first day of school was finally over, but he didn’t want to leave Austin. During the time that Alan was with him, he saw Austin on the receiving end of many glares and insults, not once fighting back. He was the gentle giant in a school of buffoons. What did he do to deserve any of what was handed to him.

 

When Alan got home, he threw his bag next to the door and went straight to the kitchen, only pausing to pet Lily-one of his three cats. Grabbing a bag of chips from the pantry, Alan went and dropped on his living room couch. Niblet, his black Scottish Fold cat, jumped up with him, nudging his hand in an effort to get him to pet her. Alan caved in and ran his hand through her silky fur. Purring in contentment, she kissed his cheek before nuzzling him. Alan smiled down at her. He picked her up and threw out his empty bag of chips, then headed to his room. His parents were away on a trip to finish up some last business for his dad’s old job. The day was long and full of surprises, so it wasn’t a shock when Alan decided to take a nap because of how tired he was. He curled up on his bed with Niblet curled up next to him.

 

He would decided what to do with Austin later.


	2. Fears and Too Many Question, Not Enough Answers

Austin’s POV

 

When Austin woke up, he was groggy, sticky, and had a sharp pain coming from his arm. He got out of bed and quietly walked into the bathroom, not wanting to wake up his father, who was currently passed out drunk. Running the sink’s faucet, he rinses off his blood caked arms, wincing in the process. The water tinged pink as blood was washed off with warm water from Austin’s arm. Once done, he ruffled through his medicine cabinet, where he kept stored his gauze and tape. Dressing his arm, he kept his eye on the time. It was 6:08 A.M. Throwing out his trash, he grabbed his blade and went into his room to get dressed. Pulling on a pair of skinny jeans and a band t-shirt along with a pair of Vans, he quickly brushed his hair and brushed his teeth. 

 

Grabbing his bag, he put his blade in one of the compartments and headed downstairs. His father was, once again, in a drunken coma. He pulled out a pan and the toaster, getting ready to prepare breakfast for his father. He learned better yesterday when he got home from school and his father beat the shit out of him because there was no food on the table when he woke up. Grabbing a couple of eggs and two pieces of bread, he began making egg sandwiches for him. The aroma of food cooking was making Austin nauseous. He took the food off the stove and out of the toaster and put it together, wrapping it in saran wrap after. Throwing it on the table, he washed the dishes before making his way out the door, locking it behind him. 

 

Austin took a breath of relief at the fresh air. As he walked to school, his stomach settled down a bit and Austin gave a small smile to himself. Walking through the crowd, he kept his head down and repeated the process when he arrived at school. 

 

“Hey, Austin!” a voice behind him called.

 

Just keep walking. Pretend you didn’t hear him. Austin thought desperately to himself. He didn’t understand why Alan was acting so clingy lately. He knew that Alan was clingy when they were friends, but this Alan doesn’t even recognize him. He stuck by Austin’s side through the whole day, and when he was being bullied, he stuck up for him. Just like the Alan who knew him. And that made him a little more depressed. Why couldn’t he have changed so much that he couldn’t have recognized him?

 

“Hey, asshole! I know you heard me and you’re just ignoring me. Hey! Wait up! Damn, you’re fast. Fuck you and your long strides!” Alan said, trying to catch up to the giant. Finally catching up, he placed his hand upon Austin’s shoulder. Austin, so focused on walking away from Alan and ignoring him, jumped at the unexpected hand and flinched in fear of another bully. Alan saw this, frowning, but for Austin’s sake, he ignored it.

 

“Don’t just ignore me like that, I still don’t know my way around the school!” he playfully reprimanded Austin, but Austin didn’t see it that way.

 

“Of course.” he mumbled under his breath, shaking with fear. He didn’t want another beating, but he knew that was the price you paid when you do something wrong, no matter how small it may be. Austin could feel a panic attack surfacing and he tried to calm his breathing. Taking several deep breaths, he led Alan to the music room.

 

Music passed quickly, only having to do a small assignment, after the rest class had free time to do whatever they pleased. They both finished rather quickly, and Alan tried to start a conversation with Austin, but Austin could only guess that he grew bored of the silent treatment seeing as he left him to go talk to some boy cover in tattoos and a british accent. They seemed to get along real fine. Stop it! Austin scolded himself. He can’t even remember you, let alone want to start a relationship with you. If he can’t remember you, that just shows how insignificant you are to him.

 

Math came and went, and so there he was, in third period art. Alan wasn’t with him in this class, so he quickly showed him to his room before coming to his second most favorite class and sanctuary. Taking his usual seat beside Gerard, a boy with greasy black hair. They never talked to each other, but they were a form of what you would call friends. Both were silent, only talking when the situation requires (or Gerard’s boyfriend), but they understood each other in a way no one else would. When one needed space, the other would get the hint and so on. If one was hurt, the other would help them in needed. It was a perfect kind of bond between them, one that they could never replace nor want to.

 

Austin took out his work that he’s been working on for a month. It was a major project the class was doing and would be worth sixty percent of their grade. Austin was determined to make this his best work, not just because his grade would plummet if he didn’t, but also because he loved art (another thing he and Gerard shared) and it was a great way to release all that he was feeling in a healthy way.

 

The teacher clapped several times to get the attention of the students.

 

“Today, as yesterday, we will be working on the projects that we have been doing for a month now.” she said, dramatically waving her arm around in an attempt to be funny. Only a couple of people giggled, but overall, it was a fail.

 

Returning to his work, Austin began to use contrasting colors, making his image pop. The class passed fast and both only spoke up to ask for something they needed. 

 

Austin went to pick up Alan. He waited by the lockers till Alan came out. He didn’t have to wait long for Alan was soon exiting the classroom, talking to a boy with brown hair with a blonde streak. Waiting for them to finish talking, Austin kept his head low and fiddled with his coat sleeve and the bandages on his arm. He didn’t like this emotion he was feeling. It was angry and possessive and it was only something he’s seen on tv. He was jealous. He knew he shouldn’t be, but this was his long time best friend and his three- almost four year crush. He calmed himself down. Alan was allowed to have friends. Besides, when walked up to Austin, a boy with brown hair took the boy’s hand and placed a kiss on his cheek. Austin’s cheeks flamed red. How could these people do these things and not get beat? Wouldn’t their parents shun them, neglect them even, for being homosexual? It stunned Austin. He couldn’t understand how people could be so open with who they are, and he was Austin, not even being able to accept he was gay for fear of what his father might do. He disgusted himself. He wished he had the balls to just go up to Alan, grab his hand, kiss him deeply, and whisper huskily in his hear, You’re mine.

 

Fourth period took forever to get by, but that was probably because it was chemistry. The teacher droned on and on in monotone about the elements, never making anything exciting. Austin never thought he could be this happy to hear the loud, obnoxious bell in his life. Austin shot out of the room, not once glancing behind. He didn’t want Alan to follow him and eat lunch with him, because… well… he didn’t eat. And he didn’t want Alan to become suspicious of him and get him reported. His father would kill him if that happened. Austin pushed down the guilt that was already starting to gnaw at him. It was for his own good, whether it was for his own, or Alan’s, he didn’t know.

 

Alan’s POV

 

He was so upset when Austin ditched him like that. He understood that Austin was a social butterfly, no, he was the farthest thing away, but he didn’t have to go ahead and be rude by practically running away from him! Alan sighed to himself before making his way to the cafeteria. Getting a chicken sandwich, he took a table that had no one at it. Munching on his lunch, he got lost in thought, obviously thinking about Austin. Not paying any attention, he didn’t notice when a small boy came up to him, only snapping to attention when something poked him.

 

“Hey, we saw you sitting alone and thought you could use some company. Wanna sit with us? My name’s Frank.” The boy was about only five feet and wore a band tee. He had multiple piercings and tattoos. Alan already loved him.

 

“Sure!” Alan was glad for the company. He liked a distraction from his festering thoughts that popped up often. Frank led him over to a crowded table and sat down, Alan following him.

 

“Okay, the bro with the ‘fro is Ray. Blondie is Bob, the dude cover in awesome tats is Oliver, but you can just call him Oli, the short blond next to the pink haired guy is Patrick and the pink haired one is Pete, they’re together. Next to them is Mikey. Skunk hair over there is Jack,” Alan smiled at him, glad he knew one person. “and next to him is his boyfriend, Alex. Those two over there are Vic and Kellin, another couple, and Mike and Tony, again, couple. And this beauty next to me is Gerard.” he said while practically groping Gerard. They all gave a form of greeting before dispersing into their own little conversations.

 

“So, you friends with Carlile?” Frank asked. Alan nodded, he didn’t know what to say at the moment. The only one he’s been talking to was Austin and his Austin’s name was Austin Carlile. It just proved his suspicions about his long gone friend. 

 

“Sucks that he doesn’t talk. The only friend he has is Gerard here, even though they don’t talk much.”

 

“Yeah, do you possibly know the reason behind that?”

 

“Sorry, I can’t say I do, though I do feel bad for him. He’s constantly has bruises and doesn’t look like he ever sleeps. Far too skinny to be healthy.” Frank rambled, sounding like a worried mother. He reminded Alan of Mrs. Weasley from Harry Potter almost.

 

“Oh, well, I was just hoping to help him, and any information I get is helpful in my mission.” Alan gave a sort of half laugh at the end before returning to eating.

 

“Well, I wouldn’t know anything about it, but he might.” Frank pointed at Gerard. Gerard looked at him like he was crazy. There was no way he was going to tell this stranger anything about his friend, no matter how much his boyfriend begged. One, he wasn’t going to betray his trust like that and two, it wasn’t his business to tell. If Austin wanted his stuff out like that, then he can tell them himself or if asked.

 

Alan looked at Gerard expectantly. Gerard just stared at him, not willing to give anything out. Alan sighed to himself before giving a half smile. Even though it wasn’t exactly helping him at the moment, it was still nice to know that people like Gerard still existed, the ones who wouldn’t dare sell out their friends. Alan swore to himself that he was going to make up all the time they had lost and be that friend for Austin, but he couldn’t do that unless Austin lets him in. 

 

By the time the bell rang, Alan had only eaten half his sandwich. He got up and threw out his milk. Austin ran up to him to help him to their next class. History was fairly easy for Alan, so he took the chance to just space out and think. His eyes roaming the classroom several times, and each time they landed on a certain tall brunet. He had many more tattoos than when he had left. They practically covered his arms and chest. It suits him well, Alan thought to himself. He grew his hair out and it lay in a shaggy way upon his head, gently framing his head. He had his head down, just as he always does, and he was writing intensely. Alan was curious about what he was writing about, but he couldn’t catch a glimpse.

 

The teacher droned on and on about whatever his little heart had desired and Alan just sat there, staring at the clock, counting the minutes, seconds, till school was being released. The bell rang and Austin got up, waiting just long enough for Alan, and led him to the gym before heading off to his free period. 

 

The last two classes passed quickly, the only downside was that they were given a shit ton of homework in English.

 

Austin’s POV

 

When Austin got home, his father was up and about. Austin could felt a chill go down his back, trembling in fear as he entered his house. Looking around cautiously, when he saw no one around, he tried to make his way up the stairs to his room without a noise. Hearing the footsteps coming from the living room, he knew instantly that he had failed. Resigning himself to his fate, he turned around to face his father.

He slurred, “Hey, bitch. How's my dear, ol’ son?”


	3. Secrets to Keep and Lies to Tell

Austin’s POV

 

He slurred, “Hey, bitch. How’s my dear, ol’ son?” 

 

Austin quaked in fear, unable to move from his spot. His legs felt like lead and were heavy. His father reeked of alcohol and Austin was sure he was high. When his father was drunk or high, he was ten times more dangerous than if he was sober. His father staggered up to Austin, a shit eating smirk on his face.

 

“I...it’s your fault she’s dead, y’know. All your fault!” He threw a bottle that was in his hand at Austin’s head. It collided in the back of his head, leaving a trail of blood in its wake. Austin saw his vision go blurry, felt his head becoming fuzzy. It all felt like a dream, but he knew it was real. His father wailed on him. Punches to the head, kicks to the gut, and at some point, his father had gotten a knife and sliced him down his stomach. Austin was in so much pain, he didn’t know how much longer he could keep hold of his consciousness. 

 

When the beating finally stopped and his father jumped in his car to go pick up some whore off the streets, Austin sighed in relief. He knew he should feel bad about wanting his father to get in a wreck and hopefully die, but he just didn’t have it in him. It made him even worse of a person and all Austin wanted to do was let go. Just let go and feel nothing. Was that too much to ask? Apparently.

 

Dragging himself to the front yard, he looked through his contacts and selected Ginger Princess. It rang three times before he picked up.

 

“Hello? Austin?” a timid voice came.

 

“Y-yeah. Can you d-do m-me a favor?” he mumbled almost inaudiably.

 

“Anything.”

 

“Can you pick me up? I’m in front of my house, the s-same one since three years ag-go. I seem to… be…” He passed out.

 

Alan’s POV

 

When he got a call from Austin, to say he was shocked was an understatement. He gave him his number at the end of his first day, just in case either one of us needed something. Getting over his shock, he proceeded to answer his phone. 

 

“Hello? Austin?”

 

“Y-yeah. Can you d-do m-me a favor?” It was hard to understand him because of how small his voice was.

 

“Anything.” Alan was worried now. Something was wrong and Alan would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared.

 

“Can you pick me up? I’m in front of my house, the s-same one since three years ag-go. I seem to… be…” the phone got cut off. Alan jumped in his car and raced to Austin’s house. He was lucky he still remembered it after all this time. When he arrived at his house, his heart broke. There, laying face down on the lawn, was a bloody Austin Carlile, his phone still in his hand. 

 

Jumping out of his car, he yelled for help while trying to get his unconscious body in the car. As he was struggling with Austin, a young lady heard the commotion and ran out of her house, a gasp of surprise escaping her lips as she watched the scene play. Quickly getting over her shock, she jumped into action. Together they were able to get Austin in the car. Alan thanked the woman before getting in the car as well, throwing Austin’s bag in the back, and slamming his foot on the gas pedal, not caring if he was speeding.

 

The trip to his house wasn’t far, only about ten minutes away, but it seemed like forever. When they finally arrived at his house, Alan allowed his eyes to drift to Austin. Eyes widening, he raced into his house and grabbed his mom quickly explain the situation, promising to go into further detail later. She had arrived the day before from the business trip due to work, but his dad still remained on the trip. After they got him out of the car and into the house and onto the living room couch, they were finally able to see the full extent that was inflicted on Austin. There was a trail of blood coming from his head and scratches and bruises on all the visible parts of his skin. Just as they were about to remove his jacket -which had a very large, bloody stain on it, Austin chose that particular time to awaken. It took him a few seconds to comprehend what was going on, and when it finally registered in his mind he flew back. The only thing that got into Austin’s mind and the only thing he could comprehend at the moment was danger.

 

Alan’s mother walking slowly over to the cowering giant, not wanting to cause any more stress or fear. “Hey, honey. I’m Alan’s mom, Katelyn, Kate, but you should know that. You used to come over all the time. You had the cutest little smile and you could bring my boy out of his shell like no one else. It was hard on Alan after our move. We’re just worried about you, you know. Would you let me check you over? I don’t want you to have a concussion or anything and you’re losing blood.” Austin frowned to himself and looked down at himself. He was covered with blood and a sharp pain came from his head. Austin looked back at Kate and shook his head.

 

“I want to clean my wounds myself.” 

 

“But, honey. I don’t want them to get infected.” she tried to sway the boy.

 

“No.” Austin had put his foot down. When Austin wanted or didn’t want something, he was damn stubborn. Kate looked at Austin before sighing in defeat.

 

“Fine, but you have to let me take care of your head wound.” Austin nodded his head.

 

“Deal.” Kate ruffled around in the kitchen before returning with a first aid kit in hand. 

 

“The bathroom’s that way, down that hall on the right.” she pointed out.

 

“Thanks,” he mumbled. Alan and his mom kept their eyes on him until he rounded the corner. Looking over to his mom, Alan questioned,

 

“I have a good idea as to how he got those injuries, and it wasn’t from school. I just want your expert opinion, Mom.” She let her eyes lay on the closed bathroom door once more before turning to her son.

 

“Honestly?” Alan nodded. “I think it was child abuse. Did you see his father there?”

 

“No. Absolutely no one was there.”

 

“Those wounds don’t look like he could have been in an accident, but you can’t rule it out. Not yet, at least.” she sighed to herself. “Let’s try to get him to the hospital before we do anything rash.”

 

Austin’s POV

 

Austin was in the bathroom looking over his wounds. He was thankful to whatever god, spirit, or deity that was watching over him because he somehow managed to get out of stripping down. He didn’t want Alan to see what a mess he’s become. He didn’t want Alan to see how far he’s fallen. Austin is no longer the boy Alan once knew and he was scared to find out Alan’s reaction to his change. He was terrified of Alan finding out his habits. He didn’t think he would be able to take another abandonment. His mother left when he was in seventh grade, his father quickly breaking all bonds with his son soon after. All friends he had before her death had all abandoned him, not being able to keep up with Austin and his constant depression. Austin swore to himself that he will not allow Alan to end up like everyone else, he will do everything in his power to prevent it. 

 

Taking off his jacket and shirt, he looked at the scars and newly made cuts marring his arms. He wasn’t proud of what he’d done, but it was something -one of the only things- that he took comfort in. It felt nice to be able to be in control of at least one aspect of his life. He didn’t like the fact that he had no say in whether others could inflict pain upon him or not, no, he’s always felt pain ever since that fateful day the heavens took his mother, but he liked that he could at least inflict pain upon himself. The pain showed that he still had some life in him, and while that may not have meant he was actually living, it did give him hope that perhaps one day, a better time will come. Just thinking about it was making Austin want to feel the cool metal of a razor on his skin. He wanted to feel his skin tear and watch as blood pooled on his arm. But he knew better. He knew better than to take the risk of someone walking in on him, only to find him laying in a pool of blood, or if they had to go to the hospital and they began to ask serious questions.

 

Wiping the blood off of his body, Austin could finally make out the black and blue patches that his father had created on his skin. He supposed his body was a canvas for his father to do as he pleased. It was almost as if he had created art, though in a most painful way. Working his way with the gauze and tape, he quickly finished wrapped the cuts and scrapes, making sure to thoroughly clean them before doing so. 

 

When he felt that he was at least some what presentable and got all the blood and grime off by himself, he had called out to Alan from the door, asking for a change of clothes.

 

“Of course,” he said before running off to his room to fetch a pair of clothes for the poor boy. When he returned, the only part of Austin he could see was his head. “Here you go!” he said cheerily. Austin looked at him before blushing.

 

“Umm… could you please turn around.” Alan nodded, not wanting to make the other feel uncomfortable. Austin grabbed the clothes before shutting the door.

 

Making quick work of getting dressed, he headed out to the Ashby’s living room where he took a place on the couch.

 

“Now, let’s get you all bandaged up.” Kate said softly. Being as gentle as possible, she managed to dress Austin’s head wound without hurting him. 

 

“Thank you.” he mumbled. She smiled brightly at him.

 

“Anytime,dear.” They sat in silence for a few minutes, the only noise was some background music and one of Alan’s cats purring contently on said person’s lap. “I would really like you to go to the hospital, just to have a couple of x-rays done and some scans.” Kate broke the silence. Austin immediately shook his head, his breathing picking up pace.

 

“Please!”

 

“No!” he shouted, running off and locking himself in the first door he saw when out of their sight. Taking a moment, he did his best to control his breathing.

“I will never let them find out about me.” he mumbled to himself.


End file.
